It’s August. You know what that means – back to school for students!!! For some student’s it’s back to the same school with friends you have known for quite a while. For others it’s time to start a new chapter at a new school! I have been in both positions many times in my life. However, I have found myself in the latter position more often. That coupled with having observed students who leave their friends and family to attend a new college has prompted me to write this back to school blog article for those students who are new to their school, college, or university – whether frosh or transfer this blog’s for you!
As the new person on campus you may feel a little awkward and out of your element. A little less than 7,000 students attended UC Berkeley for the first time as freshmen/women and transfers in fall 2013. While the numbers of frosh and transfer students for the 2014-15 year have yet to be released, rest assured you are not the only one feeling a little awkward and alone. Though academic institutions such as UC Berkeley are largely focused on academia there is also a need for social and personal development as well. It makes perfect sense. To get accepted to an institution like UC Berkeley or Stanford, as a high school student you likely spent a great deal of time focusing on school work and getting the best grades. While this is great, it is too often not coupled with social skills development.
Focusing strictly on academic skill at the expense of social skill development leaves you and other students ill prepared for navigating the social scene in college. Speaking from personal experience as well as professional observation trust me when I say social skills are a must in that most college students will do better academically if they have a social system of support. Here are a few tips to help you meet and keep new friends as you head back to school for 2014:
- Say “hi.” One of the most common things students share with me is they don’t know how to meet people. The best advice I have for any of you who find yourself wanting to meet others is to approach the person you’re hoping to meet, smile and say “Hi. I’m_____. What’s your name?” It’s simple and easy to remember. Be sure to smile as it makes your face softer and more inviting. Assuming this first step went well and you have made a new friend, my next suggestions are for those students who may want to take your new found friendship to a sexual level. Don’t act surprised – you knew it was coming – I’m the Sex Goddess!
- Proceed with caution. This is until you hear a clear and enthusiastic “yes” to your sexual request(s). Communicate your desire to have a sexual experience to your partner. Unless your potential partner has mind reading powers, there is no other way for them to be absolutely sure that you’re interested sexually if you don’t tell them. Keep in mind that just because you tell your new friend that you’d like to be more than friends or friends with benefits, your friend may not feel the same. This does not mean they don’t want to be your friend, it just means they don’t want to be sexual with you at this time. That may or may not change. Either way, no means no. Silence means no. This is just as true for males as it is for females, transgenders, intersex people and anyone else regardless of where you fall along the gender continuum.
- Use condoms with each sexual experience. If you’re lucky enough to meet someone AND you’re mutually interested in sharing a sexual experience, fabulous!!! There is nothing sexier than consensual and safer sex between friends with benefits. Traditional and insertive condoms are just what you need to support each other sexually and safely. If you don’t know or are unsure how to use condoms schedule a health and wellness coaching appointment or Sexual Health Education Program (SHEP) workshop today!
While the suggestions above are great for those of you heading back to school here in the next couple of weeks or so, there is much more to consider as you prepare to go back to school. I’ll share more back to school sex tips throughout this month. Until next time…
Keep it safe and sexy,
Ms. Robin, the Sex Goddess
Have a topic or question you’d like me to address in a future Sexy Saturdays article? Send it to me at RMills@sexucation.org.